Withered Flowers
by Kinomoto Sakura
Summary: A tribute to Kikyou. Things are falling into place at Mt. Hakureizan and fate will soon take its turn. Flowers for the dead, reflections, and foreboding. spoilers for whole Hakureizan arc


**Warning:** Spoilers for whole Hakureizan Arc. (Probably you'd only know if you read the manga or watched the more current episodes from Japan.)

**Notes:** Kikyou's name translates to Chinese bellflower, hence the title. Lots of Japanese used, may be incomprehensible for those who watch the dub/read Viz manga. I envisioned a scene where Kikyou had informed the children about Suikotsu before the final face-off at Hakureizan. Strangely enough, I don't like Kikyou that much, but something was inspiring about her.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha. It is copyrighted by Takahashi Rumiko-sama.

**Withered Flowers**

It all began with the Shikon no Tama. After it came into my possession, the accursed jewel haunted me for years. And from then on, an endless slew of youkai followed me wherever I went, whatever I did, watching for a moment's weakness so they could spill my blood and taint the jewel with their black desires. So I had to remain strong, and I did until I met Inuyasha.

There is never a memory with him I don't remember with equal longing or bitterness. Our ruined love, broken by a jealous bandit consumed with desire of power and of me. I'm haunted by the memories with the hanyou wherever I go, and when I'm with him, I'm haunted by the difference I see from the uncertain selfish boy I knew and kinder man he is now. There is also the existence of the girl who stands by his side which burns me.

Not only she is an obstacle for Inuyasha's heart, but she is the constant reminder that I'm a hapless dead soul brought back to life in a filthy dirt shell. When Inuyasha is with her, he does not have to smell dirt or death, and when he touches her, he will feel warm flesh, and-

I despise her, she who is me, and yet essentially different.

But I despise Naraku more, infinitely more.

Once I destroy him along with the Shikon no Tama, I'd be able to feel at peace. Only death to the youkai who killed me, and destruction to the object which prevented me from living in life is the meaning of my existence now. Vengeance will fulfill me, but it will never change the fact in reality I'm nothing more than a deceased miko living on the souls she devoted her life to serving...

Naraku will be cornered soon as his subordinates are falling one by one. The Shichinin-tai are falling back into their graves where they belong. Is it fate that those who are dead cannot exist in the world of the living? I wonder for how long I will linger in this world of the living. If I still had faith, I'd pray to Kami-sama for time to accomplish my final tasks.

I'd pray to Kami-sama to let me be selfish and have Inuyasha by my side for a little longer.

But the grave in front of me insists time is shortening.

"Kikyou-sama! We found some!"

The children that the kind personality of Suikotsu loved so much run towards me with flowers in their arms. They still had faith after all.

They slow in their approach, with solemn eyes on wooden grave marker before them. I could not recover the bones for them as the mountain's barrier was becoming too overwhelming for me, so an empty grave was all they could achieve.

"Let's lay our flowers… and pray," whispers the eldest, her sorrow evident with the difficulty in her speech.

I pray along with them, and hope that with this the grief will ease in their hearts. Surely, the golden memories of Suikotsu's kindness will remain etched in their hearts, but the tarnished image of blood thirsty Suikotsu may remain in their nightmares… Perhaps with time and prayer, their reverence towards Suikotsu will ease the terror in their hearts as well.

Time with Inuyasha eased the weight of my existence when I was alive.

"We'd have to change the flowers every day! I don't want Suikotsu-sama's grave covered with wilted flowers," pipes the youngest after his prayer.

"Hmph, like if you would. You'd probably forget and the dried flowers would be caked all over when they crumble," says a young girl spitefully. 

"Hey!"

"Stop it, you two. Suikotsu-sama wouldn't like you two arguing over his grave," the eldest child admonishes.

"I have to go again," I whisper, the presence of Hakureizan's barrier causing me to feel nauseous. It is getting stronger again. 

"So soon, Kikyou-sama?" cry the children. Their eyes beg me to stay with them. I pity them; they will have no one left when I leave. The villagers hold a grudge against Suikotsu and most likely will have distain for the children's love of him.

"I'm sorry. Please remember about the flowers before they wither," I say as my parting speech. "Take care of yourselves."

They bid me goodbye, clutching at each other. Some rubbing their eyes, and frightened at the prospect being alone without adults to take care of them. Even if I could stay, it couldn't be for long. It's all for the better to leave before they discover the truth about one more person they respect.

There is nothing left but to keep walking on my path, stepping on dead flowers and leaving them to crumble in my wake.

* * *

**_Inuyasha – Chapter 281_**

_ Naraku: _

_ With an imitation body made of bones and soil... _

_ you don't bleed eh... _

**_Inuyasha – Chapter 281_**

_Naraku: _

_Kikyou... this is your grave. _

_Kikyou: _

_Inuyasha-a-a..._


End file.
